B.P.P.C.S.G.C.P. : Blog Post Pertaining to Changing Songs into Grammatically Correct Prose

Section 1:

B.O.B “Cold As Ice”

Well me and her were the 2
me and her were together like glue
but we lived packed in a shack
like the old lady who lived in a shoe
and we aint really know what to do
’till one day she got her a job at WaMu
I said baby if you been thinkin’ what I thinkin’, then all of our problems are through
so we got together with the crew
and planned everything with the T
we got gloves and guns and bags and masks
and anything we would need
so we scoped out the facility
really waited a couple of weeks.
’till it was time to kick in the door
everyone down its a robbery

You’re as cold as ice (you’re as cold as ice)
you’re willing to sacrifice our love
and now you got me (Froze)
I said you got me (froze)
because you’re so c-cold
you left me cold tonight

So I went to my girl and said “quit playin’ and give me the cash”
but nobody suspected a thing
it was quite a spectacular act
so we get to the safe out of everyones sight
so I take off my mask and ask
“did your partner remember to cut the line for the panic button in the back?”
and she paused
the look she had on her face was cold as ice
before she could she could say the next word I heard the sirens pull out outside
so I tried to grab her and run, she pulled away and said she would be fine
she was on the clock so I guess nobody would think she was in on the crime

You’re as cold as ice (you’re as cold as ice)
you’re willing to sacrifice our love
and now you got me (Froze)
I said you got me (froze)
because you’re so c-cold
you left me cold tonight

So I realized it was over
when the SWAT team kicked in the door
so I dropped my gun and the cash, and then I got bummed rushed to the floor
and they took me into the station
and they started the interrogation
and I said, “I aint sayin’ a word ’till I get appropriate representation”
so as I get escorted out, to my surprise what do I see
thats my baby sittin’ in cuffs
tellin’ the officers everything
ans I stand there in amazement
trying to find an explanation
and the cops come in and restrain me
and they mase me and the taze me
I said, “baby why baby what did I do to forsake you
how can you turn your back on me you’re selfish I hate you
all I ever wanted to do love you
were you fakin’?”
so I snatched the gun from my officer
and I cocked it and I aimed it
and said, “this is for all the pain you done put me through you’re ungrateful how could you
all I wanted to do was save you”
and here I am day 55
with 55 hundred to go
when you love a girl who is as cold as ice
eventually you’ll get froze

You’re as cold as ice (you’re as cold as ice)
you’re willing to sacrifice our love
and now you got me (Froze)
I said you got me (froze)
because you’re so c-cold
you left me cold tonight

32 degrees below zero
you’re like 31 flavors you’re oh so cold
feels like 30 straight days of falling snow
I’m so cold and alone, alone
you’re like 32 degrees below zero
or like 31 flavors you’re oh so cold
feels like 30 straight days of falling snow
I’m so cold and alone, alone
you left me cold tonight

You’re as cold as ice (you’re as cold as ice)
you’re willing to sacrifice our love
and now you got me (Froze)
I said you got me (froze)
because you’re so c-cold
you left me cold tonight

Section 2:

I loved her for as long as I could remember, since high school at least, she had always loved me too.  We were inseparable, we were always stuck together like glue.  The day after highschool I asked her to marry me- and we rented the smallest apartment in all of Atlanta because it was all we could afford.  We felt like the old lady who lived in the shoe, except there was two of us and our shoe was on the fourth floor.  Everything was perfect… Except we had no money and nobody would give either of us a job.  We slipped farther into dept with each passing day, it was getting to the point where we were going to get kicked out of our little apartment.  We owed 10,000 dollars to the credit card companies and we were getting collection notices daily.

Then my baby girl came home with wonderful news; she got a job at WaMu.  When she got her first paycheck it was not enough 10,000 dollars like I had hoped.  It was barely enough for food and rent (we already didn’t have water or electricity).  One day when we were worrying over bills she told me that at the bank they were taught to not argue with robbers and just give them the money.  I turned to her questioningly then it hit me.  I said, “Baby if you be thinkin’ what I thinkin’ then all are problems are through.”

I got together all of my old high school homies and we planned everything out.  We scoped out the bank over the next few weeks and then we got all of our equipment together ski masks, bags, gloves, and- a gun.  The night before we put our plan into action I was really stressed out, she was too.

The next day, I kicked in the door at the bank and screamed, “Everyone down it’s a robbery!”  Then I ran up to where the tellers where and pointed my gun at her and said, “Quite playin’! Give me the cash!”

She led me into the safe and everything felt great, nobody suspected her of being in on it.  I asked her, “Did your partner remember to cut the line for the panic button in the back?”  She paused.  The look on her face was cold as ice, before she could say anything I heard them police officers pull up outside.

Section 3:

One thing that I definitely lost in translation was the chorus of the song, and I couldn’t really imagine a way to work that in, especially considering, that I picked a song that already had a narrative story to it.  Grammatically, making a story with a narrative song (often) requires using lines as clauses and combining them into sentences.  For example, in the section 2 line: ”We scoped out the bank over the next few weeks, and then we got all of our equipment together ski masks, bags, gloves, and- a gun.” I combined two lines of it the song together, each one turned into a clause (independent I believe) with a conjunction (and).

R.A.W.P.B.P. : Revisions to Academic Writing from the Past Blog Post

Original (from Spring 2009):

Several things contributed to fall of the medieval lifestyle in Western Europe.  The first major blow to medieval order came about because of secularization.  Secularization is when a society detaches itself from a close affiliation to a particular religion.  In the centuries leading up to the early 1700s the people of Western Europe lost faith in Catholic Church for many reasons.  One such reason was the Churches corruption, for example; the practice of selling Indulgences.  Indulgences are pardons granted by the Church to decrease time in purgatory.  Another thing that really hurt the Church was the power of interpretation brought on by the printing press and Martin Luther.  Martin Luther translated the bible and made it readily available for the masses who before relied on the Churches interpretations.  Once the bible was translated from Latin and put into print people were able to read it for themselves.  Obviously this led to numerous different interpretations of the content and exact meaning of the words within the book.  Once people were able to decide the meanings for themselves they could disagree with the Church.  No one had ever been able to argue with the Church about its religious teachings before.  From this we see Christianity break into many different sects.  The strongest and most note worthy of these was the Protestant Reformation.  The Lutherans and Calvinists were important as well.  Protestantism was started by Martin Luther (1483-1546).  The Protestants attacked Roman Catholic doctrine, denied the Popes authority, and drew away massive numbers of followers.  Other things that contributed to the Church losing support and followers were events such as the Great Schism (1378 to 1417); when three men claimed to be the true Pope, and the English Reformation; when in the 16^th century England denounced the Catholic Church and the Pope, then founded the Church of England.  Lastly, the Scientific Revolution and the increased value placed on thought and reason replaced religious ideals.  This was all important because once the Catholic Church was separated from the political power and influence it enjoyed during its heyday in medieval society nations and powerful monarchies started could arise.

Revised (from Spring 2011):

The fall of the medieval lifestyle in Western Europe was contributed to by several different elements.  Secularization brought on the first major blow to medieval order.  Secularization is when a society detaches itself from a close affiliation to a particular religion.  In the centuries leading up to the early 1700s the people of Western Europe lost faith in Catholic Church for many reasons.  One reason was the Churches corruption, for example; the practice of selling Indulgences.  Indulgences are pardons granted by the Church to decrease time in purgatory.  Another thing that really hurt the Church was the power of interpretation, brought on by the printing press and Martin Luther.  Martin Luther translated the bible and made it readily available for the masses who before relied on the Churches interpretations.  Once the bible was translated from Latin and put into print people were able to read it for themselves.  Obviously this led to numerous different interpretations of the content and exact meaning of the words within the book– people could disagree with the Church.  No one had ever been able to argue with the Church about its religious teachings before.  From this, Christianity breaks into many different sects.  The strongest and most note worthy of these was the Protestant Reformation.  The Lutherans and Calvinists were important as well.  Protestantism was started by Martin Luther (1483-1546).  The Protestants attacked Roman Catholic doctrine, denied the Popes authority, and drew away massive numbers of followers.  Other things that contributed to the Church losing support and followers were events such as the Great Schism (1378 to 1417); when three men claimed to be the true Pope, and the English Reformation; when in the 16^th century England denounced the Catholic Church and the Pope, then founded the Church of England.  Lastly, the Scientific Revolution and the increased value placed on thought and reason replaced religious ideals.  This was all important because once the Catholic Church was separated from the political power and influence it enjoyed during its heyday in medieval society nations and powerful monarchies could arise.

Explanation (of Revisions):

ALTHOUGH I WROTE IT WHEN I WAS A SOPHMORE, this paper is still good writing.  This paper, ALTHOUGH I WROTE IT WHEN I WAS A SOPHMORE, is still good writing.  This paper is still good writing, ALTHOUGH I WROTE IT WHEN I WAS A SOPHMORE.  Right off the bat I made two significant revisions to this piece of my writing.  I switched the order of both of the first two sentences (for different reasons).  In the first sentence I changed the order to introduce the subject quicker.  In the second sentence I changed the order to avoid ending one sentence with secularization and then starting the next (the third) sentence with the secularization again.  The next grammatical change I made to my paragraph was to combine two sentences with a dash: “Obviously this led to numerous different interpretations of the content and exact meaning of the words within the book– people could disagree with the Church.”  I did this to emphasize the key point; that people could disagree with the church.  The last two changes I made were more minor; I deleted the typo ”started” from the last sentence and then I added a few commas where they were needed.

My question: Why is ‘despite’ not one of the AAAWWUBBIS? Also, is this okay: "One such reason was the Churches corruption, for example; the practice of selling Indulgences"? I am unsure about the comma/semi-colon use together.

B.P.N.T.A.G. : Blog Post Number Three About Grammar

Wheeeeeew!  It has been a very long and busy first three weeks.  I love only taking classes within the discipline (English Education), it somehow makes getting up in the morning just a bit easier… Okay, a lot easier.  A lot of my classes seem to be culminating or heading towards the ‘end’ that I really want.  That is, of course, to teach English.  The place where, before studying the teaching of English before, I knew my weakness’ lie is grammar.  For that reason, English 326 seems to be moving the fastest for me.  Last week was about adverbs, adjectives, nouns, sentence structure, subjects, verbs, etc. 

A lot of this information has been new to me from the stand point of allowing me to be able to technically describe (teach) this information to someone who did not already know it.  It’s kind of a novel concept for me because I never have a lot of trouble with grammar.  Syntax comes from growing up with the language and grammar comes from avoiding the things I used to not know how to use, like dashes or colons.  So far I have learned all (okay most) of the apostrophe rules and uses*, along with the way to use the dash, and the colon.  I definitely don’t see myself avoiding or misusing, especially in the case of the dash, this knowledge in my writing ever again. 

One thing I know I will continue to work on is moving adverbs around in sentences to keep them varied, diverse, and interesting.  For example, I worked MADLY on this blog post (MADLY, I worked on this blog post; I worked on this blog post MADLY; I MADLY worked on this blog post).  The first way I had it was how I write most of the time I think; with the adverb following the verb.  I plan on continuing to work with the other ways into my writing more often.

One question I have: is the use of ellipses only appropriate in text messages and other informal writing?

*Refer to B.P.P.N.A.G.