B.P.P.C.S.G.C.P. : Blog Post Pertaining to Changing Songs into Grammatically Correct Prose

Section 1:

B.O.B “Cold As Ice”

Well me and her were the 2
me and her were together like glue
but we lived packed in a shack
like the old lady who lived in a shoe
and we aint really know what to do
’till one day she got her a job at WaMu
I said baby if you been thinkin’ what I thinkin’, then all of our problems are through
so we got together with the crew
and planned everything with the T
we got gloves and guns and bags and masks
and anything we would need
so we scoped out the facility
really waited a couple of weeks.
’till it was time to kick in the door
everyone down its a robbery

You’re as cold as ice (you’re as cold as ice)
you’re willing to sacrifice our love
and now you got me (Froze)
I said you got me (froze)
because you’re so c-cold
you left me cold tonight

So I went to my girl and said “quit playin’ and give me the cash”
but nobody suspected a thing
it was quite a spectacular act
so we get to the safe out of everyones sight
so I take off my mask and ask
“did your partner remember to cut the line for the panic button in the back?”
and she paused
the look she had on her face was cold as ice
before she could she could say the next word I heard the sirens pull out outside
so I tried to grab her and run, she pulled away and said she would be fine
she was on the clock so I guess nobody would think she was in on the crime

You’re as cold as ice (you’re as cold as ice)
you’re willing to sacrifice our love
and now you got me (Froze)
I said you got me (froze)
because you’re so c-cold
you left me cold tonight

So I realized it was over
when the SWAT team kicked in the door
so I dropped my gun and the cash, and then I got bummed rushed to the floor
and they took me into the station
and they started the interrogation
and I said, “I aint sayin’ a word ’till I get appropriate representation”
so as I get escorted out, to my surprise what do I see
thats my baby sittin’ in cuffs
tellin’ the officers everything
ans I stand there in amazement
trying to find an explanation
and the cops come in and restrain me
and they mase me and the taze me
I said, “baby why baby what did I do to forsake you
how can you turn your back on me you’re selfish I hate you
all I ever wanted to do love you
were you fakin’?”
so I snatched the gun from my officer
and I cocked it and I aimed it
and said, “this is for all the pain you done put me through you’re ungrateful how could you
all I wanted to do was save you”
and here I am day 55
with 55 hundred to go
when you love a girl who is as cold as ice
eventually you’ll get froze

You’re as cold as ice (you’re as cold as ice)
you’re willing to sacrifice our love
and now you got me (Froze)
I said you got me (froze)
because you’re so c-cold
you left me cold tonight

32 degrees below zero
you’re like 31 flavors you’re oh so cold
feels like 30 straight days of falling snow
I’m so cold and alone, alone
you’re like 32 degrees below zero
or like 31 flavors you’re oh so cold
feels like 30 straight days of falling snow
I’m so cold and alone, alone
you left me cold tonight

You’re as cold as ice (you’re as cold as ice)
you’re willing to sacrifice our love
and now you got me (Froze)
I said you got me (froze)
because you’re so c-cold
you left me cold tonight

Section 2:

I loved her for as long as I could remember, since high school at least, she had always loved me too.  We were inseparable, we were always stuck together like glue.  The day after highschool I asked her to marry me- and we rented the smallest apartment in all of Atlanta because it was all we could afford.  We felt like the old lady who lived in the shoe, except there was two of us and our shoe was on the fourth floor.  Everything was perfect… Except we had no money and nobody would give either of us a job.  We slipped farther into dept with each passing day, it was getting to the point where we were going to get kicked out of our little apartment.  We owed 10,000 dollars to the credit card companies and we were getting collection notices daily.

Then my baby girl came home with wonderful news; she got a job at WaMu.  When she got her first paycheck it was not enough 10,000 dollars like I had hoped.  It was barely enough for food and rent (we already didn’t have water or electricity).  One day when we were worrying over bills she told me that at the bank they were taught to not argue with robbers and just give them the money.  I turned to her questioningly then it hit me.  I said, “Baby if you be thinkin’ what I thinkin’ then all are problems are through.”

I got together all of my old high school homies and we planned everything out.  We scoped out the bank over the next few weeks and then we got all of our equipment together ski masks, bags, gloves, and- a gun.  The night before we put our plan into action I was really stressed out, she was too.

The next day, I kicked in the door at the bank and screamed, “Everyone down it’s a robbery!”  Then I ran up to where the tellers where and pointed my gun at her and said, “Quite playin’! Give me the cash!”

She led me into the safe and everything felt great, nobody suspected her of being in on it.  I asked her, “Did your partner remember to cut the line for the panic button in the back?”  She paused.  The look on her face was cold as ice, before she could say anything I heard them police officers pull up outside.

Section 3:

One thing that I definitely lost in translation was the chorus of the song, and I couldn’t really imagine a way to work that in, especially considering, that I picked a song that already had a narrative story to it.  Grammatically, making a story with a narrative song (often) requires using lines as clauses and combining them into sentences.  For example, in the section 2 line: ”We scoped out the bank over the next few weeks, and then we got all of our equipment together ski masks, bags, gloves, and- a gun.” I combined two lines of it the song together, each one turned into a clause (independent I believe) with a conjunction (and).